Leading up to her first appearance and performance at the GRAMMY Awards, Billie Eilish spoke to Gayle King about her career and being the youngest artist ever to be nominated in all four of the major categories.
She also opened up about her mental health and shared with Gayle her struggles dealing with the pressures of fame, and how it caused her to isolate and fall into a deep depression. Per E! News, she confesses that she not only self-harmed, but didn’t think she would live to see her 17th birthday. “I didn’t ever think I would be happy again, ever. I don’t want to be too dark, but I genuinely didn’t think I would make it to 17.”
When Gayle asked “But did you think that you would do something to yourself,” Billie replied with “Yeah.”
Billie also gets candid about a specific time when she struggled with thoughts of suicide. She says, “I remember there was a window right there. And I, God. I remember crying because I was thinking about how the way that I was gonna die was I was gonna do it.” Billie also says, “I was so unhappy last year. I was so unhappy, and I was so joyless.” Billie does add that she’s been slowly coming out of feeling depressed for the past six months or so.
Billie is up for six at the upcoming GRAMMY show on Sunday (January 26). She will also perform.
Watch highlights of the interview below.