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PARK CITY, UT - JANUARY 27: Miss USA 2019 Rachel Slawson attends the WeRiseUP Launch Event With Kevin Bacon during the 2019 Sundance Film Festival at TAO Nightclub on January 27, 2019 in Park City, Utah. (Photo by Robin Marchant/Getty Images)

The upcoming Miss USA contest will break barriers as it will have its first openly bisexual contestant. Rachel Slawson, who was recently crowned Miss Utah USA, went to Instagram to share her struggles with her sexuality and the hardships she has dealt with through the years.

Slawson writes:

“Let’s just get straight to the point:

The last time I tried to end my life I was 19 years old, and it was the night I lost Miss Utah USA. ‘Why wasn’t I enough?’ This is my 7th pageant, my 5th time competing at Miss Utah USA, and tonight I finally experienced hands down the biggest dream of my life.

After a few trips to the psych ward, being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (the reason I had such an extreme reaction to losing a pageant) and finally coming to terms with who I am as a queer woman. And the only difference between tonight, and the night I left broken hearted wishing I wasn’t alive, is that I knew I was enough before I arrived.

I am so grateful for this crown. And I promise to do right by Utah and spend this year sharing my truth.
But if I’m being honest with you, this crown is a new job, not an answer to the question I spent the last 9 years asking. ‘Why am I even here?’ I am why.

If you are in crisis, please text TALK to 741741, and remember you are always worthy of help, and you are worthy of your biggest dream. Your new Miss Utah USA 2020. “

In another post, Rachel discusses being queer and says, “Being Queer is not a ‘platform.’ The reason I waited so long to come out as a member of the LGBT+ community was that I didn’t think who I choose to love should define who I am. Life is short. And I have more questions then answers, but one thing I’m sure of is that we came here to love.”

The Miss USA pageant will take place in the Spring.